Listlessness affects both men and women. Listlessness is one of the most common topics in counseling

Too tired for sex? Listless? Many women and men know this feeling We guide you to find out the causes of your listlessness. Stress in relationships or everyday life is often a trigger. Illnesses or medication also influence lust.

Listlessness in women and men – psychological causes

On the psychological level, your listlessness is a reaction to circumstances in your life that no longer fits It is often a combination of several causes. Listlessness need not be a permanent condition! If you feel listless, ask yourself, “What is good sex for me? What about my relationship?”.

Relationship problems and unspoken expectations of the partner are the most common triggers. The symptom of listlessness avoids sex because you may not get what you enjoy The following psychological stresses play an important role:

  • everyday stress
  • too high sexual demands (on yourself and on the partner),
  • unfulfilled sexual desires and fantasies
  • insecurity and shame
  • lack of communication

Do you feel your problems are overwhelming you? Are you no longer able to get everything under control? Then we are here for you. We support you competently with solution-oriented methods.

relationship problems

Couples seek emotional calm, care and security in relationships. A good partnership builds on these factors. In the first phase of falling in love, you can hardly leave one another alone. Over the years, curiosity and spontaneous lust vanish. With everyday life and the continuation of the relationship, the sexual desire decreases.

Persistence and trust replace sexual curiosity. The situation becomes a burden when one of the partners feels a greater need for sexual closeness.

Many couples never talk about their ideas of good sex in their relationship Or about sexual practices that they want to arouse or try out. Is that also the case with you?

Fear paralyzes and separates couples

Are you afraid to say what you really want? Or don’t want to? Are you afraid of hurting others? In our consultation we create the opportunity to talk about injuries, shame, disappointments and fears, as well as wishes and desires. This exchange prepares the ground for new developments.

Stress as a lust killer

If you demand top performance from your body and mind all day long, there is no time for pleasure in the evening. But time for yourself and for each other is an important factor in a fulfilling sex life. When everyday stresses get to be too great, your body reacts with withdrawal and listlessness.

Are you stressed and have you noticed for a long time that this condition affects your sexual desire? Do you suffer from it? Then give us a call! We will accompany you with advice tailored to your needs.

Sexual desires

Know the wish: Your sex should be sparkling and exciting. However, you experience it as so unsatisfactory that your body prefers to no longer feel this “cramp” and this effort. A sexual encounter is much more than a short, well-coordinated process.

Would you like to feel again what really excites you and which situations attract you erotically? Would you like to feel alive and sensual again? Then it is time for you.

  • deal with your wishes
  • seek a conversation with your partner
  • try new ideas

In our consultations, we work on the multifaceted topics that lie behind desire. We accompany you and your partner to find a common basis for discussion.

Little knowledge of the body leads to uncertainty and shame.

Many women (but also men) know little about their body and their genitals. These deficits lead to uncertainty and shame. Female and male sexuality are based on different requirements. Do you know your body?

Do you know about the anatomical requirements? What functions do the individual body parts have for sexual experience? And how can they be stimulated? Your own body is the key to lustful sex.

Do you feel hurt by your partner’s behavior or statements?

Your body prefers to avoid such situations and is listless. But which woman is the norm? Self-love and self-care are essential to show yourself to your partner.

How do you see your body? How much do you like him?

In our consultations, women often report that they have a negative image of their bodies. You don’t feel “beautiful” enough. And lose the desire to have sex. Above all, women learn what is “normal” and “right” from social guidelines and media communication. These norms restrict and have a negative impact on pleasure.

We set impulses so that you leave old perspectives behind. An appreciative self-awareness is a good prerequisite for lustful encounters. We support you in this.

Listlessness in men

In recent years, men have raised the issue of listlessness and sought advice. In doing so, they emerge from the social picture that shapes male sexuality.

There are many myths surrounding male sexuality that put men under pressure. The biggest myth is that male lust is driven. Men are always in the mood and are always ready. But what if you feel listless and not aroused? Then it is worth taking a look.

Listlessness resulting from the pressure of expectations

Men strongly combine their self-confidence with their sexual stamina, strength and activity. If the erection and desire do not work, then you question yourself as a whole person. For men, their lust and arousal are part of their identity.

Male pleasure also arises in phases. It builds up and is prone to failure. A high pressure of expectation that it always has to work, is often the reason that the desire disappears completely.

Feedback from a client
“For me, three things were particularly remarkable: I felt that I was picked up where I was, I felt completely seen, and I suddenly understood aspects of my sexuality that I hadn’t seen very clearly until then. Strengthened with these great aha moments, I went away relieved and happy … Thank you!”
(Gerlinde, 61 years, listlessness)

–> READ ON …

  • female orgasm / lust
  • Advice for couples
  • Sexual fantasies
  • Menopause
  • Heartache / separation
  • Pain during sex
  • male orgasm disorder
  • Erection problems
  • female orgasm disorder

Questions about lust

  • What is “good sex” for you?
  • In what situations do you get aroused?
  • What irritates you about your partner’s sexuality?
  • Which sexual initiative do you like?
  • Do you do things for the sake of your partner?
  • Do you sometimes pretend to have an orgasm?
  • Do you consciously avoid sexual approaches?
  • Do you share your sexual fantasies?
  • Can you talk about sexuality?
  • What don’t you like about each other’s body?
Lustlosigkeit - Sprachlosigkeit - eine negative Spirale

Listlessness – speechlessness – a negative spiral.

Specific psychological causes of listlessness in women

Women react more mentally than men with listlessness.

  • Uncertainty and shame
  • little knowledge of your own body (lack of masturbation experience)
  • social images, norms and prohibitions
  • Conflicts in the relationship

What factors are necessary so that women feel comfortable and indulge in their lust?

  • a stable self-worth
  • an affirmative body-image
  • Harmony in the relationship and the social context (duration of the relationship, loyalty, trust)
  • a pleasant atmosphere
  • feeling seen and heard

Wir sind für Sie da.

Mag. Barbara Zuschnig
+43 660 44 35 665

Mag. Beatrix Roidinger
+43 660 46 26 777

Wege aus der Lustlosigkeit: Selbstliebe, Freude am Körper und wertschätzende Beziehung

Ways out of listlessness: self-love, body pleasure and appreciative relationships

körperliche Ursachen bei Frauen

The diagnosis of physical causes is conducted by taking a medical history with your specialist. We accompany you during and after medical treatment.

Physical and psychological components interact. You can improve more quickly if you get help in both areas.

  • Pain during sex
  • Genital surgery
  • Side effect of the birth control pill
  • Problems in pregnancy
  • Vaginal dryness
  • chronic diseases
  • Side effects of medication (e.g. anti-depressants)
  • Addictions
  • Thyroid disease
  • Hormonal disorders
  • Hormone change in menopause
  • psychiatric disorders

Listlessness in men resulting from a false image of masculinity

Every culture has its gender code. Men learn how to act as men. “Being a man” often means performing well during sex. If you are listless for a long period of time, then it is time to ask a few questions.

  • What defines my masculinity for me?
  • How important is it to function?
  • What picture do I have about my sexuality?
  • Can I live in all parts of that picture?
  • How can I talk to my partner about my needs?
  • Can I show my partner my fears?
Wann ist ein Mann ein Mann?

When is a man a man?

Lustful sex can be like a good meal.

When was the last time you planned something special for an erotic encounter? When you invite friends over for dinner, take your time, plan, shop and create a special evening.

Invest this attention to experience enjoyable sex!

Prepare for your next sexual encounter. What can give your partner pleasure? Create a special place with light, music, and scents– what will you wear?

Perhaps you are experimenting with toys, roleplay, or starting with a massage. Let your imagination run wild! There is still a lot to discover. Always! Even into old age.

Lust hat nichts mit dem Alter zu tun.

Lust has nothing to do with age.