Menopause – a time of change

In recent years, much has changed in the discussion about the menopause. The menopause has been given a new social status. Women and men over 50 are no longer seen as listless beings who are denied desire and sexuality.

Menopausal symptoms can be treated

The topic of the menopause is no longer completely taboo. This change brings more opportunities for those affected to inform themselves. Nevertheless, it is remarkable how many women and men still go through the menopause unaccompanied and unsuspecting. This often leads to a large number of avoidable illnesses and their medication. We summarize the most important information in this article. Perhaps you will recognize some symptoms in yourself. Specialist doctors and advice can guide you through this time of change.

Menopausal symptoms in women

During the menopause, the ratio of tetosterone, oestrogen and progesterone secretion changes in women. All three hormones control our ability to experience pleasure as well as the emotional and sensitive aspects of our lives. These hormones therefore influence your mood and well-being. When the hormonal change begins, physical changes occur.

These can be characterized by

  • irregular bleeding
  • hot flashes
  • disturbed sleep rhythm, difficulty sleeping through the night
  • sweating
  • Decreased skin elasticity - dry and sagging skin
  • Dry mucous membranes
  • Tiredness and listlessness
  • Aching joints
  • Slower metabolism and weight gain
  • osteoporosis
  • Water retention
  • hair loss
  • Tension in the breasts.


emotional irritations

In addition to these exhausting physical symptoms, many women also suffer from depressive moods, mood swings and sexual listlessness. During this phase of emotional unrest, they react more intensely and violently to the comments of others. They also perceive smells, tastes and sounds differently. The body, and with it the soul, are in a state of upheaval and are adjusting to a new phase of life. The change creates a veritable rollercoaster of emotions. This can be very confusing and exhausting. Women report that they often don't recognize themselves.

The menopause as a new beginning

This intensity and periodic escalations also offer the opportunity to reassess and readjust your life to date. It is the start of a new phase in your life that you can consciously shape. If you feel inside yourself, you can also use these new feelings as an impetus for change. How do I want to live as a woman or mother? What is important to me in a professional context? Where do I want to focus my energy and attention? What am I passionate about?

kindle a new fire - ways out of listlessness

The physical changes brought about by the menopause also have an effect on desire and arousal. It is often a combination of several causes.

However, listlessness does not have to be a permanent condition. If you feel listless, ask yourself: "What is good sex for me?" How is my relationship doing?"

Relationship problems and unspoken expectations towards the partner are the most common triggers.

Improvement through diet, exercise, lifestyle changes.

You can counteract the effects of hormonal changes during the menopause with moderate lifestyle changes. Take time for walks or start with gentle sports such as yoga. Exercise and taking care of your body through a healthy diet form the basis for a fresh start. They reduce the risk of gaining weight and have a positive effect on your entire metabolism.

Menopause in men

Men also experience a hormonal realignment of their bodies during the transition to the second half of life. Until a few years ago, little attention was paid to this fact in medicine and treatment. From early adulthood onwards, testosterone production in men decreases steadily. The male menopause is therefore more linear and less abrupt than in women, but it does take place.

Physical complaints during the male menopause

Just like women, men experience the effects of hormone loss. Mood swings, listlessness, nervousness and feelings of weakness through to depressive moods.

Erection and desire

Men do not lose their fertility during menopause, but what does decrease significantly is the reliability of their erectile function. The resulting feeling of insecurity leads many men to fear failure and the thought that their masculinity is now completely over.

Counteract menopausal symptoms

Change your lifestyle and get rid of potency problems! Your complaints are closely linked to your lifestyle.

Ready for a change? You can do a lot yourself in the following areas:

  • Change of diet
  • Sport and exercise
  • Attention and training to reduce stress
  • Alcohol and nicotine reduction
  • Targeted pelvic floor training and training of the PC muscle
  • Alternatives to erectile dysfunction

The short-term use of sexual enhancers can be helpful in order to feel a reliable erection again. Before that, medical clarification is essential, because sexual enhancers pose risks. Please do not obtain such substances on the Internet.

With new positions, a sensitization of the pelvic area, or the conscious use of breathing and relaxation, you will get a satisfactory erection and new pleasure. In our consultation you will learn alternative methods of how to achieve an erection without substances!

Sex in old age

In addition to the physical changes, many couples experience changes in everyday life during this phase. Life as usual begins to falter and the couple has to develop a routine.

The most important thing is to communicate with your partner

Even if physical discomfort, the familiar erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness leads to pain, this does not automatically mean the end of a fulfilling love life and good sex in old age. There is a solution for almost everything. The secret recipe is first and foremost: communication.

How is your partner supposed to know that you feel pain during sex if you don't tell him? How is your partner supposed to understand and respond to you if you are depressed about your not-so-hard erection but don't want to talk about it?

So communicate and then find solutions together for your very own fulfilling sex in old age.

The right position for sex in old age

In a long-term relationship, no one should be under pressure to do this or that during sex.

Look for new, more comfortable positions.

Try out positions that are less strenuous for both of you. Given the joint and muscle pain that may occur more frequently with age, it can be a challenge to find a suitable position for both partners. However, using pillows to support selected areas of the body can provide the desired relaxation and give both partners more pleasure during lovemaking. Sex in old age can often be significantly improved with very simple methods.

A tip - what to do if you don't have an erection?

If there is no erection for the time being, the woman can push the penis inside herself - even if it is small and flaccid. With sensitive movements, it often grows to its full size very quickly. And if not? Then stay relaxed and without any expectations. After all, there are many more ways to give each other fulfillment than with the sexual act alone.

For example, how about - perhaps for you - unusual methods? You can use oral sex or your fingers to satisfy your partner. Women who complain of vaginal dryness are often delighted when there is no penetration and you enjoy yourself in other ways instead.

Physical closeness is the essence

Often just being physically close to your partner, feeling their naked skin and caressing and stroking each other is such a unique pleasure and fills you with so much love and joy at the other person's presence that the need for penetration completely fades into the background.

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The first German-language book on the sex-positive movement is from us!

„SEXPOSITIV – Intimität und Beziehung neu verhandelt“ (2021)
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From the contents:

  • Intimacy and relationships reloaded: what does the sex-positive movement want?
  • Sex-positive awareness: an open view of yourself and the world
  • Rules beyond conventions and taboos: negotiating consensus
  • LGBTIQ, Kink, Tantra, NTSM (non-traditional sexual behaviour)
  • Open relationships and polyamory: shaping non-monogamous relationships

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Mag. Barbara Zuschnig
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